Try and recall the scene very early in 19 Minutes where the cafeteria is set up by social groups. Then consider this quote that appears later in the novel...
"Popular kids didn’t really have friends. They had alliances. You were safe only as long as you hid your trust. At any moment someone might make you the laughing stock, because then they knew no one was laughing at them."
Do you think this is how the socially elite view themselves? Are their lives devoid of any real friendships?
166 comments:
I always have thought that being popular must be exhausting work. The cost of giving up your true self for the "reward" of popularity has always baffled me. I think that people who play to their ambitions rather than their passions, run the risk of creating alliances rather than fulfilling friendships.
I think that the highest socal groups deep down know that they could get turned on at any second. so they sometimes turn on their "friends" because they are afraid of getting turned on first.
I think that the popular kids are lucky to have one friends they can acually trust. There lives more depend on keep alliances with other people so they dont get shunned from there group.
Ryan Mileszko
I dont think that the socially elite view themselves in that way, however i do beleive that they are viewed as being that way. i think that they do this without knowing. They have friendships but only the top people in the group because there has to be at least be 2 kids that are real friends but the other kids are just there to be in a group. this is mainly in highschool but it is getting started in middle schools.
-Kyle Abrams
To me i don't really belive that there is a socially elite group they just think that they are but really they are not. I think that everybody is socially elite but in there own groups. You can not be a socially elite person if no other group of people likes you. In my mind to be socially elite you have to be liked by most if not all of the other groups if you are not liked by everyone else you are not socially elite.
-Shawn Miller
I totally agree with ryan. Even if you are popular, or you have a really close group of friends everybody knows that if they say or do the wrong thing that group will instantly turn on you. So when you are with that group of people you automatically put on a mask so nobody can see who you really are. And like what mr. g said if you arent comfortable with who you are with your friends then it must be really tiring to put on a show for those people you call friends. And those people who really do have one trustworthy friend are the lucky ones just like ryan said.
-Dan O
I like what Ryan said. I don't get why people would even want to be that way. I'd rather be lower than dirt on the "popularity" pyramid and have lots of great friends than be popular and have no friends at all.
~ Jules :)
I think that the higher group, known as the populars, sometimes have real friendships. Most of the time, I don't think they do. In my opinion, they are kind of, in a way, forced to be friends. All of them are popular, so they all think that they have to be friends because others who don't fit in can't be in there social group. For example, the group of "populars" in our grade.... I don't think that they are actually true friends. I think that they often leave eachother out, or single out just one person. They often have to make sure that they say and do the right things in front of they're so called "friends". To me that is not the kind of friend that I would want.
-Jackie Kelso
Who is there to put a lable on a real friend? There are many views on what a "real friend" is or isn't. The dictionary simply says a friend is someone who is on good terms with another, so does that make a true friend someone who is always on good terms with you? There are many opipions on a true friend, and all are equally right because an opipion is neither right or wrong. To the socially elite a true friend may be someone whom you sit by at lunch, someone you tell todays criticism to, or someone whom you've never actually got to know but they are in your group so you are atomatically labeled friends. The sterotypical socially elite are looked at as not being a "real friend" in the eyes of others not in their group but may be a "real friend" in the eyes of someone just as high on the social scale as they are. In my opipion everyone wants to be a real friend even the socially elite, but it's not a title your just given you must earn the title because there is a big difference between acting like a real friend and saying your one. Always remember actions speak louder than words and people don't forget when you step on them to get to the top. Once you fall they'll be right there stepping on you just as you did to them.
-kelsey signorin
I think that most of the people in socially elite alliances aren't really great friends. There may be one or two true friends for each person in the group. I think that they are all nice to each other just because they don't want to be kicked out of the group, so the only thing keeping them together is the fear of not being there. The only thing that seems to keep them in the group is to make the people that are below them on the "pyramid" feel lower.
-Ben Peraria
Ben I like what you said but there is one part that i dont agree with and that is that those people in the socially elite alliances are not really all that nice to each other
-Shawn Miller
I agree with jackie and ryan. I think in a way the populars are forced to be friends and act like there friends, but after awhile they all just become friends. Some of them are even lucky to have one good friend that wont turn on them and say stuff behind your back. If there lucky to have one good friend then it should matter how they dress, act, talk, etc. you should be able to be you without having to play an act with your friends.
- Nichole
I think with the populars they can have friends, but they are probably not true friends. In a way they are forced to be together because no one wants to be around them do to the fact that they are mean to people who are not like them. Sometimes the "popular" team up to go against a group known as the "unpopular". They like to always pick at each little part of a person, and it can really get to someone.Honestly who would want to be around that.? They feel the need to spread rumors about people they really dont know anything about. If one "popular" does something and one other person doesnt like it they turn the entire group on that person. They say stuff about people and they are yet friends with them to. And to me they are not and can never be true friends to people.
~~ Michaela Howell
Kelsey i agree with what you said, Actions speak louder than words and that people dont forget what do you do. Good job(:
- Nichole
I think popular people have friends. But they are not the friends that will do anything for you. They are just people who are popular too, so they hang out with you. People who are not popular have TRUE friends. They will do whatever it takes for each other. They look out for each other as well.
-Zach Wood
agree with you 100% zach
-Dan O
Most people think that my group of friends is the "popular group" but honestly if you ask anyone in that group most if not all would say that they are NOT in the popular crowd. I don't know why everyone says that because we are friends and we just fool around and laugh with each other. If any one reads this I would highly appreciate it if you told me why you think our group is so popular. I guess we just got it good, but i do have to say that there are a couple of tag alongs that wake up every morning and try their hardest to fit in, crack all the "right" jokes, and completely change there personality when we would just exept them for who they are. We don't need you to put on a show for us too like you we are already your friend, like really. See the first part of the quote " Popular kids didn’t really have friends" I already disagree with that because I'm friends with everyone in that group and I can trust most of them with almost anything. Now for girls, forget everything I just said. You guys see me at lunch sitting at that all girls table and you know that all of them are putting on their fake smiles and fake laughs just to make them think you like them and to stay in that popular crowd, because if one of them thinks you dislike them they will tear you down in so many ways its not even funny. They can attack you from soo many different angles that I never even thought were possible. Some guys are probably saying wow Matt your lucky, you get to see all of these arguments and cat fights between all of these girls well you know what we can change shoes any day buddy cause its scary. :)MATT(:
popularity varies. there are the "popular" people who are afraid and have to put up a wall and keep their real self hidden. But there are also the popular people who are liked because of who they are, not for what they wear or who they hang out with. people dont usually look at those people as popular but they are. they are i guess the "good" popular.
~Jenna~ (and Julie)
matt you are a brave soul my friend to sit at that table. Good Luck in the future!
Dan O
Matt,
in my perspective, I think that people are honestly scared of your group. I dont know why, but there is always the "It" group and yours just happened to fall in that place. It isnt really about who you and everyone in your group are personally, its more of the reputation your group has. everyone (or at least who i talk to) say you guys are easier to talk to then when you are all together. Idk why, that social hirearchey for you (or however you spell it(:
~Jenna~
Jenna thank you for explaining that to me, but if you can, can you explain the reputation that our group has in your own words even if you have to put us down in any way I don't care I just want to know :)MATT(:
I couldnt agree with you anymore matt. when it comes to a group of guys like our group we dont look at ourselves popular and there is a lot of trust and respect between all of us. but with popular girls they have to come to school everyday putting on a show for their so call friends. like i dont get why you would waist your time towake up every morning and putting on a mask for someone elses need. -Haas
I have a very different definition of popular then probably most people. I'll just ask this. What makes someone popular? What makes a group popular? To me, someone popular is somebody that everybody likes...and they don't try. So I don't give a whole social group a name I'll give people in the group a name. So the people in our grade who are considered popular I don't see them like that at all, there not liked by EVERYONE. I want to know how everyone considers that one group popular? Like what they have done?
Well, to answer the question. The people in our grade who are apparently "popular" I think they are really friends. I think they will do things for each other. However, You see that some are closer then others. And to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if they turned on each other at some point, but also being in the school since kindergarten they were friends in elementary school too. When others didn't see each other has "popular". I liked those days:).To me, I just see them as another group. And I want to know what puts them in that category.
~Hayley.
Matt,
I think what Jenna is trying to say is that you guys have a reputaion because you wear all the "right" clothes and hang out with all the "right" people. I just don't get why that makes people popular. I'm not saying that people don't like you for you, but most people who aren't in your group, just see a group of guys that wear Hollister and Aero (and I'm not say that it's bad). But in our school, those clothes are considered the "right" clothes, probably because they're a name brand, and people that wear those clothes, are instatly put up on a higher rung in the social hirearchey.(That's why I don't wear them; being akward is more fun:)But, I guess it's because people always liked you, then, the saw that you hung out with other popular people, and that you wore the name brand clothes that are considered "right" and made you popular. If you don't get what I'm trying to say, then just ask me and I'll try to explain better.
~Jules :)
Julianne,
I know that there is an opinion that you want to get out about our group and how you feel about it and I really want you to explain it even if it hurts. Plus i can see where being akward might be fun.:)MATT(:
Julianne,
I wear Hollister and A. Eagle too, but i don't consider myself popular. Honestly, there are a lot of people in our grade who still don't like me, even though i wear Hollister and stuff. I'm not saying your wrong or anything, i'm just saying. But i do agree with you that maybe some people do get ranked by what they wear.
-Jackie
I like what you said, Hayley about how the days where we didn't see people as "popular". But, I don't know about you, but I kind of always saw some people as, not really popular, but "cooler" than me. And I was okay with that. But I agree that things were easier and less dramatic than when we were in K-4th grades. But, if you think about it, when we were littler, things that mean nothing to us now, meant everything to us then. Like, If someone called you stupid now, you'd probably just shrug it off and walk away. But I'd bet that in elementary school, a little kid would get really upset over being called stupid. SO, I guess, in a way things have changed; the severity of the insults, but the concept of calling people names and putting them down to make yourself feel more powerful or because you have a low self esteem, or whatever reason people bully for, has stayed the same. And I'd bet my life that it will stay that way through high school.
~Jules :)
Don't bet you life. Thats not good. What if your wrong.:)MATT(:
I think that the "popular" groups do have friendships.. but they arent the ones that you would want to keep. a true friend is someone that you can be yourself with and be able to say things in confidence without worrying about "if you said the right thing" or "why did i say that?" when really you should be comfortable with the people around you and have confidence in yourself so no one there can put you down.
So sure they have friendships but are they really the ones you want to remember when you grow apart? to want to ask them to catch up and talk about whats differnet about themselves? for me.. i wouldnt... awkward...just because you are considered popular because of the people you hang out with will never define you.. so i dont get why anyone would want to give up theyre unique personality that should shine when you walk into a room and trade that for a mask you where every day to school just to show that you are so called "popular".
i am so lucky to have great friends that i am always comfortable with and im able to be myself with them laughing with me.. not at me;)
*bridget*
Matt,
First, being akward Is fun! There's no standard that you have to live up to and you can just be yourself around the people in your group because the don't care about what's on the outside.
Now, that was my point. I don't have anything else to say about your group except for that I think you guys are all very comfortable whereever you are. You don't care what people think about you; and I admire that about your group. But, I'm not saying that you asked for it. I'm saying that maybe people put you there and maybe you didn't even realize it.
~Jules :)
I love what you said Birdget. Good job :)
~Jules :)
Bridget i totally agree with you, having good friends is the key to life. When you grow up and grow apart your gonna wanna talk to the people who made you laugh when you needed to get through the hard times, who gave you all the memories.
-Nichole(:
Julianne,
Ya know thats exactly what happened. I just kinda blended with that crew when I started talking with them and gradually got to know them through sports and school. Plus I kinda have other groups that I hang out with too like ryan and that crew, kels, nick and that group I am kinda like a nomad I guess.
* I just have to add this to my first post cause i forgot it. In kelseys group, if you hang out with another group you will be attacked with texts and rumers like you couldn't imagine.
:)MATT(:
I completely agree with Zach, wen he says that they dont have ture friends. because i know that i would deffinetly do anything for my friends, and in the "socially elite" groups theyre is no connection between the "friends." and to me if you dont have at least one true friend who you can trust, who could you tell your most secretive things? would you be able to hold them inside your self for that long?
-austin
To me, the popular group is acting and not being themselves from the time they step foot into the school. Each one tries to play the part of what they think the others in the group want them to be. But what they don't know is that that is exactly what the rest are doing too to fit in with them, or at least what they think is them. They all start to think that is the way to be, so they block out the ones that are different than they are. If one in the group does something that isn't "right", The rest kind of disclude them for what they did. In my eyes, that is not a true friend. This goes for most of them but some popular kids have actual friends, but they were probably made a while ago, when they were young and popularity didn’t exist yet.
Jessica Seigler
Matt,
That's exactly what I was trying to say in the first place, I just didn't know how to say it. :)
And if I got attacked by texts and rumors when I left a much "lower" group, then I don't even want to imagine what it would be like.
~Jules :)
Matt,
I really like what you said.. I think that your group is popular just because you are comfortable in your own skin and are proud of it! i wish i could have that qualitly around people that i dont hang out with 24/7..
so i think that your group is popular just because everyone admires that about you guys.. good job:)
*bridget*
Julianne,
When i tell you its scary i mean its scary, and thank you bridget
:)MATT(:
most popular kids dont have true friends to rely on. They would be lucky to have atleast one true friend to trust. In "the popular" groups its always she did that and i heard he did this last night. Popular kids always talk behind others backs and dont have the guts to say it to their face. If you make one little mistake the group will most likley turn on you as Ryan M. stated. So overall in my opinion popular kids dont have any real friends. The only people actually maybe they can trust is their parents which is a slight chance if your popular.
-ROBERT-
i agree with jules but its totally different wen it comes to guys and " fights "
Bridget,
I don't even want to imagine it. I bet it is scary. I don't get why people have to do that to be "on top". I think that the "popular" people that put people down to be "on top" should be at the same level as the "nerds". I would rather see the people that are popular because everyone likes them, not because they stepped on people to get there.
It's like the 'Burn Book' in Mean Girls. (don't get me wrong, I LOVE Mean Girls) but, I the parts with the 'Burn Book' disgust me. It just baffels [baffels is a funny word :)] me why people have to do that. It's like in some convavluted way people think that hurting others will make people like them more. It's like, 'Hello! The only reason people laugh at what you say is so they don't get targeted next.'
~Jules :)
Thanks for this,
i agree with jules but its totally different wen it comes to guys and " fights "
But who wrote it????
~Jules :)
Jules i love how you related everything to mean girls. And it is absolutely true.
Dan O
Popular kids are normal people like you and me. They have feelings and emotions to. In some way I kind of feel sorry for them because they have to live up to a standard.There own "friends" are always judging them and they have to always fit a tee.You have to worry about your friends or the whole grade turning on you. One minute your King or Queen of the World and the next your the kid getting picked on in the corner.
Yes, I do agree popular kids can have real true friends. But it must be hard to choose which ones are the real kind of friend. The ones you want by your side when you go through the high school, and the ones who can see you at rock bottom. I am deffintly glad that I have friends and family I can trust with anything and that are true friends!!
:)Oatmeal
Matt,
yeah i think you'r right as much as i've been with you and your friends you guys seem so chill around eachother. my table on the other hand can be hard. people both consider the different groups popular but from the differnce i see is the two groups worry about different things. i mean i try and stay as isolated as i can from my group now as i can without being attacked but i mean all the girls you see in school that are "popular " ive seen them at home through there worst times. they all have their breaking points. and at home there really not that bad. i mean ive been through allot with them and ever since sixth grade i just fit in with them. i wouldn't honestly consider them real friends, because as soon as you get into a fight your whole life your problems, insuciurities, get told to everyone. and i mean i hope that i never make the mistake and get them all against me because i have before and its the worst thing in the world. but on accausion they honestly are there for you. and pleeease i honestly don't think there is one girl who hasn't said anything about another. so in the long run whats the differnece? everyone says they wish they were popular but i promise you i could change your mind withen five minutes if you knew what it was like.
-kelsey signorin
This actually kinda reminds me of mean girls. how eveyone acts fake that they wont let their real personalities out and they try to act really cool and put shields up holding back their feelings. its gotta be a horrible feeling that you can't talk to somebody b/c you dont trust them.
In my head about popularity, some people act popular or think that their popular. thats is not true b/c we are all normal people amd we act different or the same and remember: their is no such thing as popularity (;
popular people will just want to pick on someone just to make themselves feel good or think their the coolest human beings on earth.
-Katie(:
Matt,
I think alot of people respect your group because you arent like the others and you guys are actually nice to people and talk to them.
Oatmeal
my bad i wrote about the "fights" jules sorry forgot to put my name
-Austin
Matt,
I personally dont have a problem with you guys. I see your groups reputation as sort of a threat to people. IDK how it is for guys but for us girls, its kind of dog eat dog and the girls in your group (none specifically) in alot of cases end up involved in the gossip and rumors, sometimes good others not so good... stupid gossip makes a reputation for people. Thats my personal opinion, and i am not saying anything bad about anyone just making that clear lol.
~Jenna~
Julianne,
i totally agree with everything you said.. about Mean Girls, how people got to be popular and why people always "like" the popular people to their faces... because they dont want to be the one that theyre talking about.. and i dont get why people are always targeting people to get to the "top"... i mean does it make them seem more...idk powerful then everyone else??????
*bridget*
heyy bridget I LOVE your statement.
thats what true friends defintely are(;
-Katie (:
I think that "popular" people have friends but noone that they can trust, like a true friend, a best friend, because they don't trust themselves... which shows, how can they trust others? So they probably have to "fight" to stay at the top, be uncomforable with there own selves, not trustworthy, nor friendly (most of the time). They have to keep their guard up almost all the time. Although your on the top of the school social pyramid, you should atleast try to be a different popular person... the popular people might make fun of you but if you have true friends, not popular, you won't have to worry about the "dirt" that the others are spreding, so its good to be alittle different, it helps...it may save you one day if your in a hold up. Friends are something to be proud of. Like mine, i love them like they are my family. I am not ashamed of them, they are the people that are fine with my personality, and people i can always trust and have my back through hard times. They love me for who i am. (:
~Theresa
haha bridget i was the one that mentioned the mean girls haha (;
-Katie (:
Bridget,
i think that the people who target others think they are on top because they can do that sort of thing. now im not saying that is right but i do believe that thats wat how they think of themselves as more powerful.
oops juilanne and me think alike haha sorry!
(:
Austin,
That's okay. I was just wondering. :)
~Jules :)
-Katie (:
bridget, i think that the power is wat there looking for, and if they cant have it they target people to make them weaker and then they believe theyre on top.
-austin
haha alright jules yea if theres some comments without names its probably me because im new to this
-austin
kelsey,
youve been in the popular group ever since you came to our school so everyone has to take advice from you because youve been through it and still are now.. there are always ups and downs in every group but for the steriotype of popular, it seems just more... complecated then everyone elses.. but i mean you are sooooo nice and you dont fit the steriotype of popular because of it.. and everyone knows that about you so your welcome at any group in our school:) so if your ever being attacked by your group or want to sit at any other table at lunch.. theres always a seat at my table that your welcome at anytime:) no one should ever feel attacked at anytime by their own friends..
*bridget*
Katie,
We do think alike! :)
I just really wanna know WHY????? why do people do that? I mean, people are only human, they're not like a brick wall that people can just hit at and hit at. A normal person wouldn't do much against a wall, but a normal person just saying things to other people does alot. I just wonder how people can live with themselves when they do that.
~Jules:)
I think one reason populars think they are so popular is because we hold them on a petistoole. Every time we move out of the way for them in the hall way or suck up to them it feeds there ego.
Oatmeal
Kelsey,
Any day you can also sit with us at lunch or hangout with our group also.
Leah O.
i 100% agree with you, Bridget.
Steriotypes are everywhere in our school and heirarchey and it sucks because most of them arent true.
~Jenna~
i totally agree 100% with oatmeal. that has been the best statement ive read this whole time.
-austin
whoever Oatmeal is lol is also right. I totally agree with what you are saying
~Jenna~
For the people who think they have to maintain the status of being "popular". I feel bad for you. Its harrdd work. Your trapped. You have to dress up in the nicest clothes, wear the most expensive shoes. And if you dont maintain that status, your screwed. You will loose your so called friends and you will become the laughing stock. Its a fight to stay on top. You make fun of other kids so you dont get made fun of.Its just the way it is, and there is no way out.I believe Mr. G said it in class about 2 weeks ago:
Im sure that everybody once in awile gets tired,worn out. And all they want to do, instead of wearing jeans all the expensive clothing,is wake up. Throw on a pair of sweat pants, a sweat shirt and just be comfortable.
But kids who have to keep the Popular status cant do that. Its suicide. In the end, everybody is the same. Its insane how we seperate our selves by what we wear and so on. Worst part about it is, you cant trust anyone if your in the popular group. Cause someone will blow your secret just to be higher up. You have no real friends. God only knows what will happen if for one day you acually show the real you. You are trapped!
-Eric_
i agree with oatmeal too.. tht is so true about how when we move out of the way for them we feed their ego.. good thinking ;)
*bridget*
Deffinatly Eric,
I totally agree!!! People have to look and act their best everyday just to keep from being kicked down.
~Jenna~
Oatmeal is Leah Oattes!!!!!!
In my opinion, I think deep down "popular kids" know that they don't have any true friends, but they don't want to believe it. All their social group is filled with backstabbing to be the most popular and just to even stay popular. "Popular kids" push people down by gossiping just to make themself rise to the top. Most girls I know do exactly that. And that's why they end up with fake friends. The popular group isn't always the group you want to go with because if you really needed someone it is almost garrenteed that probably not one of them would help you.
-Amanda Bartholomew
Thanks Austin!!!!I also really like what you said about the social groups.
i totally agree with eric.. its really true how your trapped and you cant be the real you because your afraid you will get to be the one laughing at if you do.. good job eric:)
*bridget*
I'm in total agreement with Zack Wood.If your popular,people are being your friend because ur popular not for ur self.Like what zack said ur real friends look out for u.
~leah d
I totally agree with you oatmeal. thats then best entry ive read so far(:
-nichole
i really like what you said amanda.. i agree with everything that you said.. especially about how when you need help.. they probably wont help you out.. good job:)
bridget
thanks for saying im not like that i try really hard not to be. and thanks for telling me i can sit with you guys. you too leah. i just am taking my time. there hard to get away from because like i said when they hate you its horrible.
kelsey
i totally agree with you eric. Its true how your trapped, and if you show the real you then you get laughed at, made fun of. And honestly i think that the "populars" are sometimes tired of putting on an act for there freiends,coming to school and acting like someone there not, they just want people to see them for you they really are.
-nichole
Thanks Nichole!!Youre's was great too!!
Leah Oattes aka. Oatmeal
Kelsey,
YOur not like that at all. Ive got to knwo you in Mr. Schwings homeroom. your really sweet, smart, and funny. If you want you could sit with my table too.
-nichole
No one is ever trully safe from the popular group.. the minute you walk away the table the truth is they are going to tear you appart because all of your soo called "friends" most of the time dont even care about you...they talk to you because they want to be you.. but being you friend is the next best thing...i guess.. but some do have true friends...most dont.. but to those that do they have been friends forever and never really cared about what socail group your in and i have seen friendships torn about by socail groups and its horrible.. but they feel the need to stay in a group then rather at like themselfs and be an individual
*John Magyar*
i dissagree with john on the part when he said the people who have real friends have been best friends forever. that is untrue to us because all you really have to do is get to know a person. for example our groups "merged" within a few months and now we feel like we can trust eachother with EVERYTHING. 100%.
~Autumn and Jenna~
No i dont agree. Popular kids are like any other kids but thier popular. you cant be popular if you dont have any friends. so if there lives are devoid of frienship then thier not popular
DAN H.
i agree with autumn and jenna!! autumn moved here last year and jeanna and i used to jsut pass eachother in the hall ways. now jenna autumn and i are inseperable. The best part is we've only know eachother for a year tops. Now we can tell eachother anything, and trust eachother 100% that they will keep it to themsleves.
-nichole(:
I think that the populers are usually people that dont have that great of social skills to get friends. Really a group of populars are'nt anything alike. They might act like it in school or around other populars,but truly they are all different people by them selves at home. These groups truely are not friends because they have to be someone who thay are not just to fit in and not get kicked out of that group. I know some kids in our school that are part of the populars and can be very mean to people lower than them. When you see these same people outside of school they can be the nicest people you ever met.But the true popular kids in my eyes are the kids who be themselves. These kids get true friends that enjoy the same things they do. And dont have to worry about what other people think of them.
-Ryan Szelc
eric when did you become so insightful? Agree with everything you said though.
Dan O
I'm almost in tears here with pride swelling in my heart. I read each of your posts and I'm speechless. The honesty and caring shown in this blog will/can easily translate into class. I cannot wait to see you all tomorrow. Again, I'm so proud of ALL of you.
I agree with Amanda. I think that it's okay to be popular, but the kind of "good popular" that Jenna was talking about.
I honestly never wanted to popular. I was always happy with where I was. I just never realized that the "popular" people don't really have good friendships. I just can't imagine calling someone a friend, then telling the some deep dark secret abot me; only to have them stab me in the back when I go and hang out with other people. Good friends will let you hang out with other people because they know that you won't betray them. But, if you're not a true friend with someone, then how can they "betray" you?
~Jules :)
P.S. I 100% agree with what Nicole said about letting Kelsey sit at our table at lunch. We're all open to new people :)
haha thanks jules!! yeah kelsey we always welcome new people.
-nichole(:
Yupp. That goes for anyone else too. We usually let whoever sit at our table, unless it's full. :)
~Jules :)
hahah, yup anyone who needs a table, our tables always open, anyones welcome to join
-nichole(:
i agree with jules!! and yeah kelsey can soo sit with us :) i also agree with all the stuff nichole has said. haha.
~Autumn <33
kelsey,
no problem.. and whenever you need help with anything with them when they are mad at you, i will always have your back and i really hope that you will sometime come to sit with me at my table.. and dont worry no one sees you the way that everyone sees them... but i dont see how anyone could ever hate you.. i mean your so nice!!:)
*bridget*
As most people said "I agree with Ryan." Which I do, most likely that that is true. I don't think that all of the popular kids have great friends with everyone(aka the popular kids). Than come the kids that are not so popular, but they have better relations with there friends. Actually I think that the best way to describe this is a scene in a book called "Nineteen Minutes." Where one of the popular kids was eating at lunch, and she had this thing for being skinny and pretty. Well she got these plate of fries and did not eat them because all of the popular kids were, and she did not want to be seen as fat or piggy or other words. They Just hide what they truly are. It is just like a puzzle.Because that they just have to be perfect to fit in the right place.
Michael K
hahah, thanks buddy(:
-nichole(:
kelsey if u need a place to sit there is a whole half of our table open. and plenty of room. so u can sit with us. Its just an offer. if u need a place to sit.
~~ Michaela Howell(:
Michaela,
i really like how you related it to a puzzle piece because evryone tries to be the perfect match for everyone else.. but really you should just be the perfect piece for your own special puzzle.
*bridget*
I still wonder why people even need to be popular? What benefit does it have, really? I mean, you get criticized everyday - like the part in Ninteen Minutes when Matt is say "Are you going to eat those" to Josie- you can't be yourself, and the mask you put on isn't that great to begin with. I REALLY want to know why. I would feel so self concious with everyone staring at me, like what Eric said, you can't just take a day off, so to speak, and just wear PJ pants to school, and sometimes, you really need a chill day. And all the stereotyping that comes along with popularity. I've hear people say some pretty nasty things to popular people's faces. I would constantly be thinking,'If that's what they say to my face, then what do they say behind my back?' It's a mystery to me, anyway.
Avoid popularity; it has many snares, and no real benefit.
-William Penn
~Jules :)
i agree with Michaela be yourself and if you dont fit you need a different group or "puzzle" to find
Craig
I think that popular kids don't really have true friends. I know i would not want to be friends with someone who is like that because they are the type of people who stab you in the back, leave you out to dry and are never their for you. Popular kids i think are difrent people in school and out of school. And they most of the time act like jerks to anyone who is difrent from their group of so called "freinds" in school.
Zach Anderson
Julianne,
I also wonder why people have to be popular.
Leah O. AKA. Oatmeal
Julianne,
i dont get it either.. but at one point i did want to be popular because i wanted to be noticed... so maybe thats the key.. they just want to be noticed and remembered by standing out and thinking that they are higher class.
*bridget*
I also really like your quote Juliane!!Great Job!!:)
Leah O. AKA. Oatmeal
I completely agree with Bridget. Put yourself in their *the populars* shoes, what questions run through your mind? What if I say the wrong thing? Should I do it because they do...what would be the consiquences if I didn't? What should I wear, will they like it? Why would anybody want to put themselve it that situation? I've been in the same thing before and have been stereo typed because of the people I hung out with. My parents didn't prefer me hanging out with them and truely... neither did I. Having real friends means being able to wear whatever and not even recognizing what they're wearing. Knowing they're completely crazy in their own "habitat" and yet...still wanting to go out in public with them. As Mr.G and Ms.Carr say all the time, each and every one of us put on a different skin before we come to school. I wouldn't want to be scared to tell my friends something, thinking that they would tell somebody else. I can rely on my friends 100% and know that if they truely think they need to tell someone they will, and they'll back me up every step of the way. Everybody should have that in life!
-Alexis
Leah,
Thanks!
And I think that Bridget is on to something... but I really don't know for sure.
~Jules :)
And Kelsey, you're one of the best friends to have. You know what to say or what to do when something happens. I can always go to you, knowing all you'll do is help. The things that have happened to you has only got you stronger, and honestly you couldn't make yourself any better if you tried! I love yooou.
-Alexis
I never wanna change so much, that people dont recognize me. -Taylor Swift
She's right no one should have to change for anyone or anything. You shouldnt have to dress someway to fit into a group. You should be able to be you and have a good time with you friends without having to put on a fake smile or mask and act liek someone your not. So in the long run i never wanna change so much that someone wont recognize me, and the "populars" shouldnt have to either.
-nichole(:
Kelsey, your one of the best friends I have. You always know what to do or say, and coming to you is the same because I know all you'll do is help me. Nobody should try to change that and neither should you. Everybody has something unique about them and for you it's how strong you are... through everything! I love yooou!
-Alexis
Thank you julianne for saying i might be onto something!! that makes me smile!!:) and alexis i agree that evryone should have that too!!
*bridget*
I believe that the "socially elite" have or had real friends at one point. I think, however, that once they got sucked into the popular crowd the friendships started to wane out of existence. If you really think about it though, are the popular kids really all that "elite"? They have to hide the real them every single day, because they know that if they let their guard down for one second the other popular kids will talk about it forever and never let the person forget it. With real friends, you can talk to them about things that you would never tell anyone else. Real friends make you feel comfortable with who you are and will never judge you.
Jon H.
yo matt, nice comment i agree
Zach Anderson
I agree with Alexis 100%. I think that everyone needs at least one person they're not related to to pick them up when they need it. I found this picture once online and it said "Friends are like walls sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's just enough to know they're there." And I think that all friends should be that way: reliable. I love my friends and I can tell you that anyone of them would kill for me and I would do the same for them. I can't imagine life without them.
~Jules :)
I like what Mikey said about the puzzle pieces. Nice.
Jon H.
Thanks Bridget! And I agree Jon, nobody even the "populars" should have to deal with that kind of thing. If you think about it, we're only thirteen and some forteen, we shouldn't be worried about small things. Like clothes and appearance, we should be foccusing on what we can do... not what we shouldn't do because of somebody else. Mr.G has told us before, there's no such thing as stress... you put it upon yourself. The "populars" must have so much stress it's not possible to describe. Think about it, putting a guard up so no one knows the real you. Exausting, there's a word to describe it.
-Alexis
Exactly. I agree with you 100% Alexis and your earlier comments too.
Jon H.
Julianne,
i feel the same way about my friends.. i can always count on them to be there for me.. and thats all that matters right? they can be weird but we have fun and they brighten my day.. they can always make me laugh even when im haveing the worst day.
*bridget*
Thanks Julie, and that quote is deffinitly perfect for a situation like this. I know that when somethings going wrong that just having people there for you is a good feeling. Even if they can't help the problem... friends can put a smile on your face. Soon enough that smile goes around the world, seeing somebody smile goes a long way.
-Alexis
alexis, thats so true..being yourself is something you should never stress out about.. even if your still figuring yourself out.. which we all are.
*bridget*
Thanks Bridget!(: Imagine if for just one day we all wore sweatpants, don't bother to do our hair... just rolled outta bed like a day at home. Nobody would be different in appearance. I mean even on pajama day we try to look good, and we get all dolled up. It was a day to be comfty and have fun with it. But, we still manage to find tweeks about pajamas. That's just shown how much we rely on appearance, when what really matters is what's on the inside. Personality.
-Alexis
I totally agree with you Alexis, 100%!! Good Job(:
-nichole(:
omg thats so true alexis!! i never thought about that.. i mean pajama day is supose to be a day to be relaxed and wear what you really where to bed.. but nobody does...including me.. but we should all plan a day to just wear sweats.. tht would be so awesome.. but honestly i would still have to wear my makeup.. haha just because i dont go ANYWHERE with out it on.. just cause no one is used to seeing me without it on and i look ALOT different..thts just who i am. i love makeup!!
*bridget*
Thanks Nicholeeeeee! Maybe we should do that tomorrow, kind of to make a statement. It'd be fun and we'd realize that we got a little message across. So, anyone who's willing to try it... dress to be yourself tomorrow. Don't dress to impress.
-Alexis
Labels: one word. but so many meanings. teens, especially nowadays, are way too quick to put a label on someone; jock, know it all, loser, pretty. Everyone is guilty at one point or another of labeling someone. But somewhere along the way there's a divide, and it suddenly becomes the populars vs. everyone else. Popular kids can have true friends. There had to be something that made them "click" in the first place. Theres always two or three people in a group that are tighter with eachother than anyone else in the group. They dont start talking trash about the other person as soon as they walk away. But yet they feel like they can talk bad about the people theyre not as close with. Why would anyone ever want to be friends with someone that they couldnt be their selves around? I dont get why it matters if your popular or not. Does anyone really know what popular is? what does that word even mean. i dont understand how one word can easily make someone's life so stressful. - h. garthwaite
That's true Hailey, and your right. Then again... have you ever tried placing yourself in that situation. Being in the "populars" standings, I've been there before and I know that as soon as that one girl in the group got up they would say something... she'd come back and it seemed as if nothing ever happened. But, I completely agree with what you saiiiid!
-Alexis
Hailey i totally agree with you. It doesnt make sense why does they way someone dresses, talks, acts, or even the sports they play be what there classified as. Good Job!!(:
-nichole(:
I just read Matt's comment earlier in the conversation. He's got a good point, the way gender kind of affects how people react to what. Also, i've never really looked at that group in a bad way. Sure, people could say they're trouble makers... and most of the time they can be but they're just having fun. All the guys in that group are the kind of people I would want to be friends with, they don't judge and they sure don't care what your going to be wearing the next day. I could list some good qualities they have right off the type of my mind. Nick, well he may look intimidating haha but he's one of the nicest people and he can crack a joke without even thinking about it. Jake, he's polite and never really has a problem with anyone... he doesn't put people before himself. Matt, oh matt... haha he is deffinitly one of the more trusting guys. And etc... EVERYBODY has something special about themselves.
-Alexis
I feel that the popular kids do have atleast one or two true friends and then they have people who they think our there friends. The only reason they are friends with the other people are because the way they dress,act,or do things like sports. To me we all have one or maybe to true friends. Everyone one else are just peices to fit there own personal puzzle.
Luke Gilbert
nice job luke. agreed.
h.garth
jeez i can see why the 9th graders want mr g to keep putting up blogs. This thing is intense. I've never heard so many knowledgeable words come out of these people's mouths. Nice work guys. And ladies of course.
Dan O
Foward to Every 8th graders in Indian Mills Memorial School: Students are trying to get every 8th grader to do this. SO PLEASE TRY IT! tomorrow dont dress to impress. dress as yourself... and be you (: dont try so hard to be someone your not.
I agree completely Luke, and your righht Dan.
-Alexis
Wow! My daughter thinks someone has died, but I've told her my tears are because I am reading the most wonderful, thoughtful entries in our blog. You guys have made us so proud. Your connections with each other are amazing. I too can't wait until class tomorrow; we are well on our way. You are peeling away at the masks and seeing each other for who you are-all the same!
Woo Hoo! :) Ms. Carr
Most people would say they envy the popular kids. But when you think of it, who wants that? The pressure of being perfect, having to constantly watch out for saying something stupid and looking bad, having some people literally fear you. I know I dont't want that. I am sometimes afraid of the popular girls in our grade. Individually, they are all nice girls. But on a group they intimidate many people. But when I look at them, i don't see real friendships. I just see the popular girls, and I know there is so much more to them than people percieve. But that's not who they really are. I'm sure they do, and i know i put on a shell every morning, afraid that people will judge me. And I love what Alexis says. Everyone has something special about themselves! Most of us just don't show it.
emilee(:
agreed luke but the only thing i disagree on is the fact that in the little " clicks " i dont see any TRUE friendships going on. now i could be wrong but wen you look at the " popular " group thats wat i see. others my think different im just speaking for myself. and i believe that most of us have in common that we play sports or an instrament but how do you build a friendship off of that in a " click?"
-austin
Wow Jon so true. I love ittt.
emilee(:
I like what Kelsey and Ryan Milesko said, about how the 'populars' know that they will be turned on by a 'friend' unless they turn on someone first. This is how the alliances start. When someone rips on a lower species of a 'popular' someone will notice them taking charge and start to befriend them leaving the lower person to be left to who ever is left in the small or big group of people. They also take things way out of proportion just so they can make themselves feel a little stronger and self aware inside even though they know its never gonna change. That this vicious cycle keeps going on and on. It shows in the lunch room when every so often they switch around lunchtables because they had a falling out.This is the cycle that people on the outside really see that they dont have true friends. True friends that they would do anything for. These 'popular' people know what is going on and I really have no idea why they dont seek other people to befriend(maybe they dont have a class like mscarr's and mr.g's that actually cares and supports you). These people wont even be friends through high school, definiteley not college. I actually regret hanging out with a few people like that. It's reallt not worth walking through the halls of the school always watching your back. No as i reflect on this thing, I REALLY regret those years of my life.
-Megan B.
austin the world may never know.
Dan O
Thanks Emileeeeee! And I agree Austin, when you look at someone in those clicks you don't see true friendships... you see fake smiles and lost teenagers.
Ms.Carr,
You and Mr.G should be proud! This is all thanks to you two and to be honest none of us would have scene anybodys true selves behind our masks... but you guys helped us realize there's more than appearance. We all have something to say and we all have something hidden.
-Alexis
thats wat im thinking dan
-austin
I loveee what Megan said, the lunch tables are perfect examples. Almost every week someone changes and if they don't they get teared down at the tables or excluded.
-Alexis
lunch tables basically seperate everyone wich is our choice because we choose to sit with friends but i think itd be nice to mix it upevery now and again
-austin
emilee i agress completely with what you had to say.
~~ Michaela Howell(:
love this blog. its fabulous.
h garth
sorry this is sooo late but anyway
i think that when I and anyone walks by the popular kids we automatticaly turn our eyes to the ground and walk so faster so we cant see their eyes watching on us. Most of the popular girls are sooo nice when they are alone like emilee said but when they are together they form a group of hate and automatically its everyone for themselves because if you say or wear the wrong thing then you will be the laughing stock forever because if you tear someone down then your self esteem goes up. If you really have to think about how you look in the morning and how others will see you and how they will talk about you then are you really with the right friends?
-jess
i defintely agree emilee!
yor comment about the popular people is soooo true! (:
-Katie (;
thanks mr.g and ms.carr!!!
i love the blog
it really shows what other people are thinking and how they are really like you!!
-JP
same here hailey i'm loving ittt! and jess i completely agree with you. im seriously scared to look at them when they are together. even though i know they are all so nice alone, i feel like im being analyzed and torn apart when i walk by them. and thanks michaela!
emilee(:
"Popularity comes from allowing yourself to be bored by people whiles pretending to enjoy it" - Karol Newlin
I think this just sums up everything we have talked about in class. How Josie just wanted to throw on sweat pants that day, but no. She had to put on her nicest clothes and her popular costume. But at the lunch table she was so bored with the gossip but she had to look like she was into it to fit in with the "right" crowd as her mother would call it. She couldn't even eat french fries without the consent of her group! WHAT KIND OF SICK WORLD IS THAT WHEN YOU CANT EAT FRENCH FRIES! But seriously i love this quote by Karol Newlin.
Dan O
H dawg hah im liking it alot too and it really doesnt matter much to me wat they say because wen they say it it really just is kinda meaning the their jelous of me, so wats there to worry about?
-austin
very good point megan!
i like it :D
-Katie (;
Seeee what you've started Ms.Carr and Mr.G!(:
-Alexis
This blog makes people realize how other people are outside of their "groups". And that's another example. When you catch a "popular" outside of there group, they are completely different people. In school they try and show some one who is better than everyone else. When we should all just get along! We are all pretty much one big family. We do so much together, that we don't realize that it would be completely different without that one "group". And i agree with what Austin said. we do need to mix the lunch tables up every once in awhile. I think i could kind of in a way bring us all closer as a class, and as human beings.
~~ Michaela Howell
hahah dan i love your comment, and id die in a world without french fries.
emilee(:
this blog has made me think and relize that there no need for the walls to be put up they should be taken down. there is no sence in it because we can all be friends even with all the disagreements we have its not hard to get along.
-austin
austin i agree with you 110% !
~~ Michaela Howell
yeah if i couldnt eat french fries.... wow.
thanks a dawg
-hailey
thank you michaela
-austin
your completely right austin! everybody has diffrences, but what are they to stop us? things hold us back all the time... this is only the first of many blog "sections" and yet i feel like we've all learned a lot about eachother no one knew. like who knew dan loved french fries soooo much! hahaha
-Alexis
omg i love this blog too!! its so addicting to see what people say!!
Bridget
Sorry so late.
i think that the elite group probably don't have real friendships because they are always worried about how they are viewed by others. They can't be themselves around other populars and so don't get to really know each other. Real friends know all sorts of things about you, the good and the bad and the boring. Real friends accept you for who you are and help you out no matter what. Fake friends only help you if they aren't in the cross-fire or if they don't have anything to lose.
Zack Aho
You make a realllly good point Zach!
-Alexis
Matt what you said in the wayyy beginning is awesome I love it.
emilee(:
TO BE HONEST, I THOUGH THT THIS BLOG WAS GOING TO BE A LITTLE , IDK, BORING. lIKE ID HAVE TO FORCE MYSELF TO GETON MY COMPUTER. BUTNOW, I AM LOVING IT. I CANT WAIT TO HEAR WHAT MY CLASS MATES HAVE TOO SAY. ( finally relized i was in CAPS)
good idea Mr. G and Ms.Carr. its awesome
:)
I think that popular kids don't have true friends because they hang out with other popular people. They won't hang with anyone that will indanger there popularity. True friends are the ones are always by your side and would always stick up for you, no matter what!
- Jake Ferrell
I feel sorry for the socially elite, and I agree with the quote with the novel completely. It's very rare to find a tightly knit Popular group. It seems that as you go up the social ladder, the friendships become less and less significant. That makes me glad to be an outcast, because I know that my friends are my real friends, not just posers who would love to make a fool of me. I remember that in first grade, before I moved here, I was actually one of the popular crowd. And now that I look back on it, I hated it. Even in first grade I couldn't trust my "friends". In the last few months before I moved out of Kutztown, I started acting like me.... more-Dan Fink
Mrs. Camps looks pretty today.
Mr. G
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