The opportunity arises to go back in time and alter one event. What event do you alter? Describe your encounter from the past and its consequences in the present.
If i could alter and change something that happened to me it would be the death of my great grandmom. She died last year and everyday her death has an impact on me. I think about it everyday. I think about what would happen if she was here and how my life would change. Consequences in the present would be that her life would be difficult. I know she wanted to go and im glad she died peaceful. But i wish everyday that she was still here, she was always there for me and i miss that so much. That's what i would go back and change if i could. -nichole :)
if i could go back in time and change something i would definately go back to 2007 and somehow make it so my aunt jen didnt have luchemia. she struggled with it for a year and a half and it was completwely devestating when she past away. she was only 29 she was married and she had a son who was 5 yrs old at that time. she was a brilliant lady and i for a few days had my life put on hold becaus ei felt i couldnt go on. my aunt andi were so close and what really shocked us about this was she was progressing so well and then one week she just accelerated down hill. there was a piece of me missing and there still is and always be and i don't think there is anything that will ever be able tyo make it better.even as i write this i have tears in my eyes as i always do when ever i think about her she was just a wonderful person and i feel like she shouldnt have died so young. also quite recently i was shaken up again because i have always thaught that when she was dieing noone knew she was they just went along with it but apparently my mom knew and she was in the hospital with her and my uincle (her husband) and they told the doctor to pull the plug on her machines to let her go and i just can't believe they would do that. it really tore me up when i found out and i just it hurts me everyday when i wake up in the morining and i see her pictures in my room and her bracelts and her pajamas that she gave me and a small urn.
so i would really like to go back and change that because it would make my life such a happuer place and i would have one of my best friends back in my life where she belongs.
also the consequences of her being here in the future is her having to deal with her alcoholic husband who didnt treat her right. but otherwise there really wouldnt be anything she i think would enjoy life healthy again i know this because the day b4 she dieed in the hospital she told me one her most favorite things to do was to be around me and i know i really really really miss that sop she must too. if she could ~Veronica Lee Browne~
If the chance to go back in time and alter one thing that happened in my life... I would probably have to say, Me treating my mom so disrespectfully. She used to be excuse my language a bitch to me all the time and I Couldnt take it, so i would flip out on her. And It would lead to bigger situations. And once of twice i almost moved out of my house our fights would get that bad. I have realized how much she does for me, and the reason she would always "stalk" what I was doing was to protect me. And She was just scared that i would go down the wrong path. Because My brother has gone through a pretty rough path in his life. And it has affected my little sisters, other brothers and my life, in such a horrible way. That now my mom doesnt let us do anything. So if i was able to alter one thing in my life that would probably have to be that. ~~michaela howell(:
Time travel can have deadly consequences. The moving of a single pebble can create a rift so powerful it can end life as we know it, or just end life period. I would not go back in time. I would rather destroy the vehicle being used to accomplish it. For example, let's say you go back in time and kill Hitler. You might think that was a good thing, but it could turn out really bad. As the allied forces would only have a small victory on there hands, the death of a single powerful man, the axis would probably just have kept going. A person smarter than Hitler could easily take his place, and the axis would have probably won the war. That would mean we would all be speaking german and kicking around Jewish people as our slaves. Not a very good process. I would not prevent the death of any human being, no matter how saint-like or important they were, and that includes my own family members. Maybe I would if there weren't such universe-altering consequences.
If I were to have the opportunity to go back in time and change something I wouldn't want to change anything because everything is a learning experience and now you know how to deal with it the next time it happens. Yeah I could go back and change all the times I got in trouble, but then I would never learn to be sneakier. Also I could go back and change some pretty intense and just heart breaking moments, but now I have learned never to be associated with that again and how to react to it if it happens again. Yeah it hurts, but life goes on. :)MATT(;
if i had an opportunity to go back in time i would go back and visit my little cousin in the hospital before she died. im not saying that i didnt want her to die (which sounds wierd) because through out this process, i have become a lot stronger and i got to spend a lot of time with family-friends. my only regret is that i didnt visit her because she was in the hospital for such a short period of time. ~Autumn <3 RIP Brionna Leigh <3
This one brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. if i could alter anyone thingit would have to be the death of my grandfather. we were so close and its hard for me to talk about him because i usally end up in tears, but the future would be i would be able to spend more loving, laughing, and just good times with him.
i would go back to the day my mom said "FUCK YOU" to my sister. i know this doesnt really relate to me, but unfortunetly it does. that moment tore me apart inside. i literally just ran out of my house because i didnt want to be in that environment anymore. i guess i just have that picture mr g has in my head, of the picture perfect family who loves eachother and cares for eachother. im not saying my mom doesnt love my sister, but for her to say that...those are some deep words, and they can mean a lot. i feel like if i prevented this from happening that my mom and my sister would be closer. and maybe my sister wouldnt be the pain in the ass that she is to my mom. only if they just sat down and talked to eachother instead of screaming and cursing eachother off. only if... it always comes down to that. only if.
If I had to go back in time I would change my grandfathers death. It made my loved ones around me so upset and I miss him so much. I didn't really understand what it meant when he died and wasnt comming back. I miss him so much!!I could imagine him looking at our family and being so proud and especially my grandma for being the strong woman she is today!!
I would go back to when my best friend who was 12 years older than I was but still loved to play legend of Zelda and pokemon and wrestle and prentend he was a lizard who I considered a brother got killed in a car crash. This would change many lives. His parents would not be sad and depressed, I would still have him as a friend he could see how I grew up. I remeber running two houses away from mine and playing with him. I forget what he sounded like and how he acted and what he said.
I just wanted to say to autumnvj cried as soon advice read your post because I know how much you loved her because I saw how Sarah Morris reacted and it was devastating I am really sorry but she will be in everyones heart
If i could go back into time, i would change one little thing. I was playing a basketball game and my team was up by 2 with 4 seconds left. All i had to do was play in front of my man, but i got selfish and went for the steal. I didnt get it and the guy hit a 3 pointer to win the game. I felt bad. It was my selfsish move that lost a very important game. I felt rreally bad. Now im sure your wondering why i would pick tht. Its because it bothers the piss outta me still to this day. ( it was 6 or 7 months ago) I picked this moment and not any other ones because i really feel that all the bad moments in my pass have made me stronger and ive learned from them. Kinda like that song by Kanye West, Stronger. What doesnt kill you will only make you stronger. I really liked this Topic Mr. G
Hmm if I could go into the future....what would I change? Probably the day my sister started to put on makeup...I know you guys are like whatthe hej is she talkig about !? But just wait. When she put on makeup this year she began to change. She would lock herself in her room and wouldn't come out until dinner. She became sassy I guess and mouthy and began to talk back. She is in 6th grade but she is my little sister and it's hard to see her grow up. Also she is a bit of..... I don't want to say it but. Slut..she has had 5 boyfriends and it brings tears to my eyes when I hear she broke up with her boyfriend and then got a new one. But I think this boyfriend is a good one that she actually likes...it's John Williams if you guys wanted to know ..there would be no consequence in my eyes if I could only get my little sister back.
if i could change one thing in my life it would be the death of my uncle, he was only in his forty's and passed from cancer without any warning, it was one of the hardest things in my life, especially when my mother told me cause i was at a party and completely broke down. i didnt know what to do, he never did anything to anyone and he didnt deserve it one bit. he was the nicest person ive ever known and i miss him more then anything...
This took me forever to decide if I wanted to answer this blog topic. I hate coming off as a pity whenever I talk about this, that’s why I never really talk about it that much, but I wanted to be as honest as possible. If I could, I would want to reverse the death of my mother. For those who don’t know, she passed away in ’98 when I was 2. People always ask me why I don’t always burst out crying whenever I think about it; I just never really got the chance to know her. I’m not saying I’ve never cried, the thought of not getting that chance to know a biological parent can really bring a person to tears sometimes, but I just think it would be harder if you really did know them because you know what you would be missing. I had to always rely on what others told me, what she was like, which can be hard at times because I will never know firsthand. I always felt I had a disadvantage to everyone else. There were some things I wasn’t able to do, learn about friend advice, or even learn how to put on make-up. I had to teach myself how to do a lot those kinds of things. However, with what happened to me, my challenges, and the advice I did receive, I wouldn’t be the same person I am today. I may not even have the same friends, but I’m happy with who I am and my choices in friends, but I always wonder what I may been like if I was given motherly advice, what could have been… or even not.
It is Saturday morning and as I read these posts, I've come to the realization that a journey into a much broader world has begun for most of you. I can feel the heartache and anguish in your words. I am now crying...great. Seriously, We all must remember that the wake is only a trail left behind by a boat; It's not what propels it. I know this is hard to understand right now, but take this quote with you and read back to yourselves in about 10 years.
Hayley M.-It is okay for you to wonder all of those things. You are such a strong individual in words and actions. I am lucky to have had you as a student.
Austin-You and I have talked at length about your grandpa. He is important to you and you must never forget his memory or legacy. Carry on his spirit in the way you live and act. His kindness and generosity is certainly something you can pass on.
being 100% honest, i wouldnt change much. I'm a firm believer in fate and i think that everything happens for a reason. for example: When I was little I had a friend who i told everything to and really trusted her even though she was really mean and lied to me all the time. I would do things even if i knew they were wrong just because she told me to. When i finally realized that i needed to stay away from her, I stood up for myself and told her exactly what I wanted, not afraid of what she might say back. In a way, I thank her because I am much stronger than i used to be. If i were in Hayley's position i would totally agree or autumn's. But i thank god every day that nothing like that has happened to me yet.
actually, thinking about it there is one thing that i would want to change. My cat, Lexi, Is really old (17 i think) and we have said many times that its time to put her down but we never too because of the pain it would cause to my family and especially my little sister. I love lexi and she has been with me since i was born. She was my moms little baby until i was born. She always played with me when i was little and never once bit me when i would pull her tail or annoy her when i was a baby. I love her like shes my sister. I feel so selfish keeping her alive and making her suffer. Her eyes are foggy and she cant even make noise anymore. I wish i had put her down when she was starting to show the signs because now I feel horrible and its just going to hurt that much more when the time really comes. i could have been getting better by now, but instead i am afraid to go into my house after school because i dont want to see her knowing that she wont be here soon. When we first started talking about putting her down (around october) I cried every night thinking about it and for the next 2 days i wouldnt go in my house. I sat in the garage crying because i was just too weak to see her knowing what was to come when she didnt. I know im just rambling on about a cat but it really matters to me. She has always been MY cat. She slept on my bad every night and was there when i woke up. Now she cant get on my bed and she is really skinny and unhealthy. Im still trying to built the courage to talk to my parents about it, but i cant yet. I love her too much to basically kill her. ~Jenna~
If I could go back in the future and change one thing it would be when I was in Rehobeth beach Delaware and I was hit by a fastball in the face during the championship baseball game. I had to go to the hospital because we all thought my nose was broken. I wanted to stay and continue and play the game but i had to go. We batted everybody so everytime I was supposed to bat it was an automatic out. We ended up losing the game. I was dissapointed. And my nose was broken. So if i could go back in time i would not have gone to the hospital and would of played the game. -ROB-
if i was to go back and change one thing it would probably be when my brother came home from a party and his friends dumped him on our steps and left, i think i was like 9? or 10? but i heard everyone giggling so i went outside and saw my brother passed out, spread all acrossed the steps not moving. I was scared out of mind. He wasnt moving and i couldnt call my mom because she left for her nightshift at work and i didnt want to get my brother in trouble.(haha looking back on that now) So i dragged him into the house I put him in his bed and i stayed up all night with him, making sure he didnt choke on his puke or anything like that, holding a bucket for him.
and if i was to change something in this time, i would pretend i was sleeping all along, and that i didnt hear my brother's 'friends' driving and dropping him off, and i would never help him. I wouldnt tell anyone that i let my brother there probably to die(hopefully), and i would never tell anybody, knowing what i know now, that i felt good about it. I know that sounds like im a heartless person, and maybe i am, but people dont understand how serious the situation is with my brother, jimmy. Because whenever he drinks and hes not passed out, he gets violent, and everytime he never remembers anything, and im always the one to remember everything. All the times he hit and punches me hard in the face, when i was trying to help him out. It got so serious to the point of death.
the one time on his 21st birthday he came home and got me in a position where he was under me and with my hands and legs bounded to the ground and his arms were around me choking me. I saw my vision getting hazy, and seeing my hands wave back and forth not able to breathe, and then everything going black. I passed out for like 3 minutes, and sometimes i can never recall things from when i was a little kid because of brain damage i guess. And knowing what i know now, who would blame me for pretending to be asleep and leaving my brother there to hopefully die, and that i would never have to experience the pain, the neglect, the darkness, the feeling of trying so hard to fight for your life and could have died becuase your not strong enough.
I know im kinda dragging this on, but i have to say the whole thing or people would think that one thing goes bad and i just wish someone died. Maybe if he died then i wouldnt be afraid about what will happen in the future for me now. Maybe everything would be different.
25 comments:
This is a difficult one. Your responses can come from your personal life, historic events, or anything else that you find creative.
For me, this topic would be heartfelt. I can tell you I would NOT alter the deaths of my father, or grandparents.
If i could alter and change something that happened to me it would be the death of my great grandmom. She died last year and everyday her death has an impact on me. I think about it everyday. I think about what would happen if she was here and how my life would change. Consequences in the present would be that her life would be difficult. I know she wanted to go and im glad she died peaceful. But i wish everyday that she was still here, she was always there for me and i miss that so much. That's what i would go back and change if i could.
-nichole :)
if i could go back in time and change something i would definately go back to 2007 and somehow make it so my aunt jen didnt have luchemia. she struggled with it for a year and a half and it was completwely devestating when she past away. she was only 29 she was married and she had a son who was 5 yrs old at that time. she was a brilliant lady and i for a few days had my life put on hold becaus ei felt i couldnt go on. my aunt andi were so close and what really shocked us about this was she was progressing so well and then one week she just accelerated down hill. there was a piece of me missing and there still is and always be and i don't think there is anything that will ever be able tyo make it better.even as i write this i have tears in my eyes as i always do when ever i think about her she was just a wonderful person and i feel like she shouldnt have died so young. also quite recently i was shaken up again because i have always thaught that when she was dieing noone knew she was they just went along with it but apparently my mom knew and she was in the hospital with her and my uincle (her husband) and they told the doctor to pull the plug on her machines to let her go and i just can't believe they would do that. it really tore me up when i found out and i just it hurts me everyday when i wake up in the morining and i see her pictures in my room and her bracelts and her pajamas that she gave me and a small urn.
so i would really like to go back and change that because it would make my life such a happuer place and i would have one of my best friends back in my life where she belongs.
~Veronica Lee Browne~
also the consequences of her being here in the future is her having to deal with her alcoholic husband who didnt treat her right. but otherwise there really wouldnt be anything she i think would enjoy life healthy again i know this because the day b4 she dieed in the hospital she told me one her most favorite things to do was to be around me and i know i really really really miss that sop she must too. if she could ~Veronica Lee Browne~
If the chance to go back in time and alter one thing that happened in my life... I would probably have to say, Me treating my mom so disrespectfully. She used to be excuse my language a bitch to me all the time and I Couldnt take it, so i would flip out on her. And It would lead to bigger situations. And once of twice i almost moved out of my house our fights would get that bad. I have realized how much she does for me, and the reason she would always "stalk" what I was doing was to protect me. And She was just scared that i would go down the wrong path. Because My brother has gone through a pretty rough path in his life. And it has affected my little sisters, other brothers and my life, in such a horrible way. That now my mom doesnt let us do anything. So if i was able to alter one thing in my life that would probably have to be that.
~~michaela howell(:
Time travel can have deadly consequences. The moving of a single pebble can create a rift so powerful it can end life as we know it, or just end life period. I would not go back in time. I would rather destroy the vehicle being used to accomplish it. For example, let's say you go back in time and kill Hitler. You might think that was a good thing, but it could turn out really bad. As the allied forces would only have a small victory on there hands, the death of a single powerful man, the axis would probably just have kept going. A person smarter than Hitler could easily take his place, and the axis would have probably won the war. That would mean we would all be speaking german and kicking around Jewish people as our slaves. Not a very good process. I would not prevent the death of any human being, no matter how saint-like or important they were, and that includes my own family members. Maybe I would if there weren't such universe-altering consequences.
~D@n F!nk~
If I were to have the opportunity to go back in time and change something I wouldn't want to change anything because everything is a learning experience and now you know how to deal with it the next time it happens. Yeah I could go back and change all the times I got in trouble, but then I would never learn to be sneakier. Also I could go back and change some pretty intense and just heart breaking moments, but now I have learned never to be associated with that again and how to react to it if it happens again. Yeah it hurts, but life goes on. :)MATT(;
if i had an opportunity to go back in time i would go back and visit my little cousin in the hospital before she died. im not saying that i didnt want her to die (which sounds wierd) because through out this process, i have become a lot stronger and i got to spend a lot of time with family-friends. my only regret is that i didnt visit her because she was in the hospital for such a short period of time.
~Autumn <3
RIP Brionna Leigh <3
Autumn, i LOVE YOUR POST!!
~Jenna <3~
Autumn,
I am so sorry for your loss!! Great job on your post!!
Leah O.:)
This one brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. if i could alter anyone thingit would have to be the death of my grandfather. we were so close and its hard for me to talk about him because i usally end up in tears, but the future would be i would be able to spend more loving, laughing, and just good times with him.
austin
i would go back to the day my mom said "FUCK YOU" to my sister. i know this doesnt really relate to me, but unfortunetly it does. that moment tore me apart inside. i literally just ran out of my house because i didnt want to be in that environment anymore. i guess i just have that picture mr g has in my head, of the picture perfect family who loves eachother and cares for eachother. im not saying my mom doesnt love my sister, but for her to say that...those are some deep words, and they can mean a lot. i feel like if i prevented this from happening that my mom and my sister would be closer. and maybe my sister wouldnt be the pain in the ass that she is to my mom. only if they just sat down and talked to eachother instead of screaming and cursing eachother off. only if... it always comes down to that. only if.
dan o
If I had to go back in time I would change my grandfathers death. It made my loved ones around me so upset and I miss him so much. I didn't really understand what it meant when he died and wasnt comming back. I miss him so much!!I could imagine him looking at our family and being so proud and especially my grandma for being the strong woman she is today!!
Leah Oattes:)
I would go back to when my best friend who was 12 years older than I was but still loved to play legend of Zelda and pokemon and wrestle and prentend he was a lizard who I considered a brother got killed in a car crash. This would change many lives. His parents would not be sad and depressed, I would still have him as a friend he could see how I grew up. I remeber running two houses away from mine and playing with him. I forget what he sounded like and how he acted and what he said.
Zach Wood
I just wanted to say to autumnvj cried as soon advice read your post because I know how much you loved her because I saw how Sarah Morris reacted and it was devastating I am really sorry but she will be in everyones heart
~Jessica Packard~
If i could go back into time, i would change one little thing. I was playing a basketball game and my team was up by 2 with 4 seconds left. All i had to do was play in front of my man, but i got selfish and went for the steal. I didnt get it and the guy hit a 3 pointer to win the game. I felt bad. It was my selfsish move that lost a very important game. I felt rreally bad. Now im sure your wondering why i would pick tht. Its because it bothers the piss outta me still to this day. ( it was 6 or 7 months ago)
I picked this moment and not any other ones because i really feel that all the bad moments in my pass have made me stronger and ive learned from them. Kinda like that song by Kanye West, Stronger. What doesnt kill you will only make you stronger. I really liked this Topic Mr. G
_Eric
Hmm if I could go into the future....what would I change? Probably the day my sister started to put on makeup...I know you guys are like whatthe hej is she talkig about !? But just wait. When she put on makeup this year she began to change. She would lock herself in her room and wouldn't come out until dinner. She became sassy I guess and mouthy and began to talk back. She is in 6th grade but she is my little sister and it's hard to see her grow up. Also she is a bit of..... I don't want to say it but. Slut..she has had 5 boyfriends and it brings tears to my eyes when I hear she broke up with her boyfriend and then got a new one. But I think this boyfriend is a good one that she actually likes...it's John Williams if you guys wanted to know ..there would be no consequence in my eyes if I could only get my little sister back.
~jessica PAckard ~
if i could change one thing in my life it would be the death of my uncle, he was only in his forty's and passed from cancer without any warning, it was one of the hardest things in my life, especially when my mother told me cause i was at a party and completely broke down. i didnt know what to do, he never did anything to anyone and he didnt deserve it one bit. he was the nicest person ive ever known and i miss him more then anything...
sean maloney
This took me forever to decide if I wanted to answer this blog topic. I hate coming off as a pity whenever I talk about this, that’s why I never really talk about it that much, but I wanted to be as honest as possible.
If I could, I would want to reverse the death of my mother. For those who don’t know, she passed away in ’98 when I was 2. People always ask me why I don’t always burst out crying whenever I think about it; I just never really got the chance to know her. I’m not saying I’ve never cried, the thought of not getting that chance to know a biological parent can really bring a person to tears sometimes, but I just think it would be harder if you really did know them because you know what you would be missing. I had to always rely on what others told me, what she was like, which can be hard at times because I will never know firsthand. I always felt I had a disadvantage to everyone else. There were some things I wasn’t able to do, learn about friend advice, or even learn how to put on make-up. I had to teach myself how to do a lot those kinds of things. However, with what happened to me, my challenges, and the advice I did receive, I wouldn’t be the same person I am today. I may not even have the same friends, but I’m happy with who I am and my choices in friends, but I always wonder what I may been like if I was given motherly advice, what could have been… or even not.
~Hayley
It is Saturday morning and as I read these posts, I've come to the realization that a journey into a much broader world has begun for most of you. I can feel the heartache and anguish in your words. I am now crying...great. Seriously, We all must remember that the wake is only a trail left behind by a boat; It's not what propels it. I know this is hard to understand right now, but take this quote with you and read back to yourselves in about 10 years.
Hayley M.-It is okay for you to wonder all of those things. You are such a strong individual in words and actions. I am lucky to have had you as a student.
Austin-You and I have talked at length about your grandpa. He is important to you and you must never forget his memory or legacy. Carry on his spirit in the way you live and act. His kindness and generosity is certainly something you can pass on.
Mr. g, i will never forget your words that were said when we talked and over this. thank you so much its means so much to me.
austin
being 100% honest, i wouldnt change much. I'm a firm believer in fate and i think that everything happens for a reason.
for example: When I was little I had a friend who i told everything to and really trusted her even though she was really mean and lied to me all the time. I would do things even if i knew they were wrong just because she told me to. When i finally realized that i needed to stay away from her, I stood up for myself and told her exactly what I wanted, not afraid of what she might say back. In a way, I thank her because I am much stronger than i used to be.
If i were in Hayley's position i would totally agree or autumn's. But i thank god every day that nothing like that has happened to me yet.
~Jenna <3!~
actually, thinking about it there is one thing that i would want to change.
My cat, Lexi, Is really old (17 i think) and we have said many times that its time to put her down but we never too because of the pain it would cause to my family and especially my little sister. I love lexi and she has been with me since i was born. She was my moms little baby until i was born. She always played with me when i was little and never once bit me when i would pull her tail or annoy her when i was a baby. I love her like shes my sister. I feel so selfish keeping her alive and making her suffer. Her eyes are foggy and she cant even make noise anymore. I wish i had put her down when she was starting to show the signs because now I feel horrible and its just going to hurt that much more when the time really comes. i could have been getting better by now, but instead i am afraid to go into my house after school because i dont want to see her knowing that she wont be here soon.
When we first started talking about putting her down (around october) I cried every night thinking about it and for the next 2 days i wouldnt go in my house. I sat in the garage crying because i was just too weak to see her knowing what was to come when she didnt.
I know im just rambling on about a cat but it really matters to me. She has always been MY cat. She slept on my bad every night and was there when i woke up. Now she cant get on my bed and she is really skinny and unhealthy. Im still trying to built the courage to talk to my parents about it, but i cant yet. I love her too much to basically kill her.
~Jenna~
If I could go back in the future and change one thing it would be when I was in Rehobeth beach Delaware and I was hit by a fastball in the face during the championship baseball game. I had to go to the hospital because we all thought my nose was broken. I wanted to stay and continue and play the game but i had to go. We batted everybody so everytime I was supposed to bat it was an automatic out. We ended up losing the game. I was dissapointed. And my nose was broken. So if i could go back in time i would not have gone to the hospital and would of played the game.
-ROB-
if i was to go back and change one thing it would probably be when my brother came home from a party and his friends dumped him on our steps and left, i think i was like 9? or 10? but i heard everyone giggling so i went outside and saw my brother passed out, spread all acrossed the steps not moving. I was scared out of mind. He wasnt moving and i couldnt call my mom because she left for her nightshift at work and i didnt want to get my brother in trouble.(haha looking back on that now) So i dragged him into the house I put him in his bed and i stayed up all night with him, making sure he didnt choke on his puke or anything like that, holding a bucket for him.
and if i was to change something in this time, i would pretend i was sleeping all along, and that i didnt hear my brother's 'friends' driving and dropping him off, and i would never help him. I wouldnt tell anyone that i let my brother there probably to die(hopefully), and i would never tell anybody, knowing what i know now, that i felt good about it. I know that sounds like im a heartless person, and maybe i am, but people dont understand how serious the situation is with my brother, jimmy. Because whenever he drinks and hes not passed out, he gets violent, and everytime he never remembers anything, and im always the one to remember everything. All the times he hit and punches me hard in the face, when i was trying to help him out. It got so serious to the point of death.
the one time on his 21st birthday he came home and got me in a position where he was under me and with my hands and legs bounded to the ground and his arms were around me choking me. I saw my vision getting hazy, and seeing my hands wave back and forth not able to breathe, and then everything going black. I passed out for like 3 minutes, and sometimes i can never recall things from when i was a little kid because of brain damage i guess. And knowing what i know now, who would blame me for pretending to be asleep and leaving my brother there to hopefully die, and that i would never have to experience the pain, the neglect, the darkness, the feeling of trying so hard to fight for your life and could have died becuase your not strong enough.
I know im kinda dragging this on, but i have to say the whole thing or people would think that one thing goes bad and i just wish someone died. Maybe if he died then i wouldnt be afraid about what will happen in the future for me now. Maybe everything would be different.
IronMan
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