“In Peter’s case, I saw an extreme emotional vulnerability, which, in fact, was the reason he was teased. Peter didn’t play by the codes of boys. He wasn’t a big athlete. He wasn’t tough. He was sensitive. And difference is not always respected – particularly when you’re a teenager. Adolescence is about fitting in, not standing out.”
“How does a child who is emotionally vulnerable wind up one day carrying four guns into a school and shooting twenty-nine people?”
“Part of it is the PTSD – Peter’s response to chronic victimization. But a big part of it, too, is the society that created both Peter and those bullies.” (pp. 408 – 409)
Questions:
Is adolescence really about fitting in and not standing out?
Is there a CODE OF BOYS at your school? And, is there a CODE OF GIRLS? What do these codes allow you to do?
Your peers who do not fit in socially and stand out…Do you have any responsibility to them?
9 comments:
I think adolescence is about what your response is to fitting in or standing out. Its about if your going to follow the cookie cutter ways or be rebelious. I think its also about finding or trying to find out who you are.Codes are unwritten rules that the social order runs on.guess the codes are follow your social structure order. Don't stand out and stick to your group. Its not really what these codes allow us to do its what they dont allow us to do. These codes are stupid and dont allow people to be themselves.I think Peter didn't fit in because to fit in at his school jocks were popular and he wasn't a jock in the least bit he was different to them and they didn't like it or respect it.I've difference from the begging of the year because our class has pushed the barriers.I think as humans we should help classmates who are socialy awkward. You could stop something from happening like what Peter did and it makes someone feel like a person and not a no one.
Leah O.:)!
I think there is a code of boys and girls at our school. I don't exactly know te whole thing for a boy, but for a girl, you have to wear the right clothes, talk to the right people, and do and say the right things, and also grow up and act all mature when your just 14. I think for guys is just wearing the right things, playing the sports, being jacked, and just trying to get with the hottest girls. But that girl is following the code, so she's trying to be a grown up and thinking that that jacked up guy might like her if she does stuff, or might like her more if she's drunk and with her friends, and so the cycle continues, and there is always people left out of the cycle and WE consider them weird, and that's stupid. We are all just STUPID inside, by thinking we need to follow some code....stupid!
Megan Basenfelder
Well adolescence can be about fitting in, but it all depends where you trying to fit into. There isn't a strict rule about the way you act you just have to say stuff and act in a way that appeals to "your group". The only real code in this school for boys is "be a man about it" and don't be like a girl and spread things behind peoples backs, but other than that its pretty much the basics like don't be dramatic. For girls idk I would think just act lady like. Every is responsible for someone that doesn't fit in because if everyone just says hello or gives a simple high five then they don't feel left out anymore. :)MATT(:
i think that the code of boys is like matt said. just be a man about it. dont be going around like a seven year old girl spreading stuff about someone else that you dont know is true or not. i dont know if the question is only applying to that but i think that another part of the code of boys is to "be a man" those who have not had ms carr and mr g think that real men dont cry but really they do. and everybody have seen that. so to the guys who arent in this class they probably think that you have to be tough, not show emotions, and just rub some dirt in it if you get hurt. but i know everbody knows this and mr g you and i have talked about this, i am probably one of the most emotional guys in the grade. in the words of mr g i would cry at the drop of a dime. but now i know that this isnt a bad thing, and because of this class i know it's ok. hopefully i'll be able to control it in the future, but for right now, it's cool with me.
i think the main code of girls is to not be a bitch, and dont stab friends in the back.
for tose people who may stand out in the social crowd i do believe i have responsibility for them. i would stand up for them if there is an a hole who thinks it's cool to hurt other people. that is probably my main responsibility for those who may stand out in the social crowd.
dan o
I think adolescence is more about fitting in rather than standing out. I believe this because when you are an adult you don't wanna be the only one that's always noticed... you don't wanna be the only one doing something while everyone else is watching... it's just better to be "in" rather than the odd one out.
I definitely think that there's a a code of boys and girls for our school.
For BOYS: they need to wear the right thing(sometimes), be cool, date the hottest girls and sometimes get stuff from them, be muscular, and more that i can't really think of(probably anyway)
For GIRLS: we have to wear the right clothes, our hair must be perfect, we must have the "perfect" body, we can't say stupid things, we have to grow up way too quickly, and really YOU JUST CAN'T BE YOURSELF... your always acting as something your not.
I definitely think that the people who are socially awkward stand out... I think sometimes we have responsibility towards their actions. It seems that some people who we try to talk to because they are shy they just kind of ignore us or they yell at you(not mentioning any names). But we try to talk to them so maybe it's not our responsibility because they are the ones being rude to us when were trying to be nice... i don't know really haha.
~JACKIE =D
Adolescence should be about having a good time and being yourself. But, as we all know, it's not like that. Being a teenager, you're epected to act the right way an be perfect when we certianly aren't.
I don't know much about the guys in our school, but from what I've heard in class, it's similar to what girls are expected to live up to.
There sure as hell is a Code of Girls; an unwritten set of "laws" we're supposed to act like and look like. Girls are supposed look perfect all the time and don't do anything stupid in front of your peers. Like, if I was in school right now, I wouldn't be looking at wands on Alvians or buying a Time Turner or wearing my super cool Harry Potter glasses (I'm a HUGE HP nerd). It's not "socially acceptable".
Of course we're responsible! They're outcasts because we, the student body, didn't accept them way back in kindergarten for Peter and for hundreds of other kids!
~Jules :)
i definatly think that there is boy code and girl code.
For Boys: you have to be "cool", wear the right clothes, date the hottest girls, "get some" from those girls, then go and talk about it with your friends, and many others that i cant think of.
For Girls: you have to wear the right clothes, if you dont own a straitener, your in trouble, you dont wear makeup, your done. if you dont act like you love your friends when your annoyed with them, they will find out and kick you out. you dont date your bestfriend ex-boyfriend. thats a no-no. there are many more, but i dont wanna make this too long.
and lastly i do think that adolescents are meant to be "in" and not stand out. i say this because i know (and my friends know) that if you stand out.. and you mess up.. thats just more to make fun of you for. to me.. if you mess up and your standing out, your done. this is why i never do solos in front of people in choir.. because if i mess up rumors will be started and i will be known as the "weirdd one".
So these are just some of the things i think. so.. yeahh.
~Autumn <33
haha Jules i bet your Harry Potter glasses are pretty sweet!!:)
Leah O.:)
Adolescence is unfortunately 100% about fitting in, not standing out. People who are themselves are usually looked down apon.
There is probably a code for boys. I'm just assuming it would be to be muscular, date the hottest girl, and see what you can get from her. Hmm, there is probably more, but I can't think of them at the momennttt.
For girls, it is to wear the "right" clothes, always look perfect, have the perfect body, make sure your hair always looks "right", and just be perfect all the time. I would most definetly rather be a guy if I could pick!!
emilee(:
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